I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
