The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
