the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize