I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
