So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
