She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
