you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
