Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
