I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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