At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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