you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
