How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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