but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
