i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
