Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize