I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize