So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize