He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
