tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
