just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
This toilet bowl is my home.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
