I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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