i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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