Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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