Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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