So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
