i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
