I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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