Sponge bath it is.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
