I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
