"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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