yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
