Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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