i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
