what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
high people should be assigned attendants
vagina is talking i cant
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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