I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
