When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
