Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Randomize
