if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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