i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
