I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
