Just cropdusted the office
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
