i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
