so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
