everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
