Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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