i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you had me at cake vodka
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
