there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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