Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
