all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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