Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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