pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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