Is it normal to miss your booty call?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
