hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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