every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
