what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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