naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
two words...techno handjob
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
