I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
