just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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