Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
