After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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