I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
