You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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