I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
