Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
