do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
