He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
