I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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