Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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