The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
