If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize