You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
