she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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