i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
