before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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