Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I deserve this hangover.
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