Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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