like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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