im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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