We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
