i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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