I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
