Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
