i don't like sucking hair
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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