just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize